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We often hear phrases like “Proverbs 31 woman” and “Titus 2 woman” tossed around in the Christian community as women we should aspire to be. It’s definitely true that we should desire to pattern our lives after these examples because at their core, they are God honoring women of faith. If we honor God at our core, we can’t help but to bear the good fruit that both the Proverbs 31 woman and Titus 2 woman bears.
Please don’t take this to mean that we have to have a checklist so that we can be sure to squeeze it all in in our lives. Take the Proverbs 31 woman: She has a lot going on in her life, but the point is that she seeks to honor God in all that she does. She is a woman who fears the Lord, and therefore, she is the excellent wife the king is looking for. [Read the passage on Bible Gateway.]
Who is this Titus 2 woman?
Since we are talking specifically here about the woman mentioned in Titus 2, look at the verses with me:
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:3-5)
Remember — this isn’t a checklist. In some things we need checklists, but not when it comes to living and obeying God’s word. First of all, we can’t. In my own strength, I can’t, nor do I want, to do all these things. When I try to make myself be someone I’m not, I’m hiding behind what people think I should be. And when I try to do everything just so, checking my boxes, it becomes legalism, and I botch it anyway.
>>Related: Finding Joy When Joy Seems Lost<<
The Titus 2 woman is God honoring, and God fearing. She loves the Lord, and she loves her family. She’s not just checking off items on a list. It is her heart. We know that out of the abundance of the heart, is our true self known. (Luke 6:45) Whatever is in the heart pours forth.
This woman fails. I promise you she does, but when she does, rather than beating herself up for failing, she cries out to her Father for forgiveness and for the strength to get back up.
Why does The Titus 2 Woman Matter?
As Christian women, we should all long to be described as this woman in Titus 2. I know I want to be that woman! It is my desire to share what I know with my daughters and other young women. Younger women need this woman in their lives. Guess what…there’s always a younger woman than you that you can reach out to, to be the Titus 2 woman for. Every one of us needs this woman in our lives.
How does one become a Titus 2 Woman?
Becoming a Titus 2 woman isn’t something we sit down with our pen and paper, jotting down the tasks that will cause us to transform into this woman.
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:3-5)
Older women teach the younger to…
- Be reverent in behavior — meaning deeply respectful. Don’t bash your husband or complain about your children. But also and even more importantly, deeply respectful, worshipful, to God.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
- Be not slanders — Don’t defame or publicly harm someone with your words.
- Don’t be slave to much wine — much wine alters who we are and the amount of control we have over our thoughts and actions.
The older women must teach what is good, training the young women to…
- love their husbands and children — We are born selfish. Loving our husbands and children requires a sacrifice not known to us as we enter marriage and motherhood. We need someone (someone Godly like the Titus 2 woman) to teach us.
- be self-controlled — This is a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5), but controlling our every action and not lashing out is not easy feat. We need someone pouring into us so that we can learn to turn away from our raw emotions and be self-controlled.
- pure — unmixed with any other matter, (Merriam-Webster), wholly Gods, striving to resist temptation to sin.
- working at home — Some may see this as we must be stay-at-home-moms in order to be obeying scripture. While I do believe that is the best case scenario for families, I understand that in this day, in our culture, it is sometimes necessary for two parents to work. I do not look negatively at any family who makes the decision for mom to work. However, I think this verse isn’t necessarily addressing that at all, but rather that we are taking care of our households first and foremost. We make sure everything is in order, we feed our families, take care of the tasks, whether by doing it ourselves or delegating the job.
- kind — being friendly, generous, warmhearted, and having compassion. In general, loving one another.
- submissive to their own husbands — This part of the verse rubs many people wrong, and they therefore, ignore the whole thing altogether. Submissive simply means yielding the will to another. That still ruffles feathers, so we need to look at Ephesians 5 where Paul talked about how marriage works. The husband first, is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. He goes on to be very specific as to what that looks like, loving her as he loves his own body. That, in turn, is what makes the wife desire to be submissive, or respectful, even when they don’t fully agree.
Why should we care about becoming Titus 2 Women?
It is important for Christian women to talk with one another so that we understand these concepts so that we can in turn become a Titus 2 woman. We are so busy that we have forgotten what it’s like to live in community, to care about other people, to teach those behind us. The mindset seems to be, “I’ve raised my kids. I’m done.” The truth is, though, we are never done. There’s always someone a step behind us, struggling with honoring their husbands and raising their children, failing at having self-control and being kind. We need each other.
>>Related: When You Keep Asking, “What Am I Doing With My Life?”<<
Older women have a wisdom that younger women just haven’t grown into yet. However, if they don’t share that wisdom, how are the younger women to know? I fall into both categories. I need an older woman, a Titus 2 woman, in my life, teaching me. Likewise, I am an older woman to many, and my job is to share what I know–not in a bossy way, but in a loving and kind way, showing my desire that they seek the Lord and honor him in their day to day.
I would say that most of us fall into both categories. Let’s agree to teach the younger women, and at the same time seek to be taught by older ones. Because it’s included in Scripture, we know God considers it important. How will they know if we don’t share and teach? Being a Titus 2 woman means that we take the time to gently teach and lead by example.
Examples of Titus 2 Women in my life…
There are two women who, as I am writing, come to my mind as Titus 2 women. One answers to Marion; the other to Avis. When I was a young wife and mother, Marion took me under her wing. She taught me what it was like making things from scratch like jelly and bread, and what it meant to keep house.
Avis helped me with my oldest when she was a baby by keeping her while I finished up college. She always offered gentle reminders about how important it is to be with your kids when they are little if at all possible.
Both ladies taught me unforgettable lessons, but one that stands above the rest was about honoring my husband no matter what. No one had ever really taught me that so clearly, but both of these Titus 2 women took the opportunity to teach me how important it was.
Marion showed me what it meant to notice a need and fill it. She had a good eye for noticing the needs of others. Avis modeled how important it was to regularly be in the Word. I remember her often at the kitchen table reading her worn Ryrie Study Bible, sipping her cup of coffee.
I wasn’t the only young woman these ladies invested their time in. They took their roles as an “older woman” seriously, and I now desire to be the “older woman” because of it.
What about you?
Do you have a Titus 2 woman in your life? Are you a better woman because of her? Regardless if you have been blessed to have such a godly woman in your life, you can be this godly, Titus 2 woman for someone else. May be always be ready to mentor younger women!
For more encouragement, check out the encouragement archives.
