Life has been at the very least overwhelming. Most of the time, I feel like I’m barely hanging on, hardly keeping my head above water, much less finding joy in the whole chaotic mess! It feels crazy from all sides.
- 8 kids.
- Homeschooling 6.
- Three year old terror.
- Fussy baby.
- House remodel.
- Wife. Mom. And all the things….
I imagine I’m not alone. We all have a story.
Recently, I was contemplating changing some things up on my blog, and I even considered shutting it down. I thought my tagline, “Finding Joy in the Trenches,” wasn’t a good fit for my blog because it seems kind of negative and honestly, I feel like I have lost my joy. Everything seems like such a chore, and I have a hard time finding and enjoying the good. How could I in good conscience urge you to find joy in the yuck of life when I can’t find it myself.
Don’t get me wrong; there have been moments when I felt that deep sigh of knowing that in that moment, all was perfect in my world. But since Baby #8 was born, life has been nothing short of survival and chaos. I’ve tried to be thankful to be alive, tried to live with joy because it could have ended so differently. I just can’t seem to muster up enough within myself to be joyful.
What I realized is that my tagline, “finding joy in the trenches,” isn’t just for my readers to come here to be encouraged to find joy. It’s for me to be reminded that sometimes life sucks. And joy is hard to find. But we have to continually seek it. If we don’t, we do lose joy and ourselves along the way.
Are you with me?
For now, I’m not changing anything. Brinalynn will stay here for as long as it needs to whether I update it often or not in this season of trying to figure it all out and make it all work. If for no other reason than to encourage you and me to seek the joy. Continue on. Bear one another’s burdens. Lift one another up.
This blog post won’t gain me any followers. It’s by all standards, lacking. Not Pinterest worthy. Not long enough. Too much this, not enough that. No ads, no fluff. Just real talk.
But I promised to be real in my journey. And this is where I’m at. I’m tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, and I’m struggling to find the joy I so desperately want and need.
If you are right there with me, let’s promise to seek together. And the best place to start? Psalm 46:10.
Be still and know that I am God.