When You Keep Asking Yourself: What Am I Doing with My Life??

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Every few days I find myself telling me that I have to get my life together. Somehow I’ve got to sleep more, rest better, feel better, exercise more, pray more, study more, stop yelling so much, stop the constant eye-rolling, and yada, yada, yada…. You get the picture. All the negative things–I’ve got to get a grip on those things because I want to be more patient, more kind, restful and peaceful, and feeling not so doggone old!

The truth is, it feels like life is passing me by some days, and that stinks. I know you feel that way, too, sometimes, if not often. It feels like our mundane tasks are boring at best, something we just have to get through every day.

I’ll be honest. Wiping noses and bottoms, reading an endless number of readers of all kinds, grading all the math problems, keeping the mountain of laundry under control, constantly thinking about the next meal — all of that can be so overwhelming that I find myself wondering, What am I doing with my life??

It feels like none of this matters. It feels unimportant. It feels beyond overwhelming, like it’s never really done. And honestly, compared to working moms’ overwhelm, it feels lame. I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I told you that I act like a spoiled teenager sometimes when I’ve had enough.

But thanks to a wise husband, I realized that the answer to what am I DOING with my life, is this: the right things. I’m doing the right things. The things that really do matter; they are important though overwhelming and never really done. They are the MOST important things.

Culture would have us believe that stay-at-home, homeschooling moms are lazy and unimportant, wasting away days that could be spent on other, more important tasks.

I’d argue that those moms are doing far beyond what anyone thinks, but they do it so dutifully day in and day out that it seems like nothing to even them. It makes them ask, what am I doing with my life?

When we ask that question (because we will), here are a few things to remind us that what we are doing does matter:

1. Think back to why you started doing this thing to begin with. 
   It’s easy to forget the why. When we remember the why, we can usually get our vision back and realize we are making a difference. I cannot count the number of times I’ve threatened to give up homeschooling, nor how many times we actually came close to enrolling our kiddos in public school. In this post, I shared the story how I knew God was calling us to homeschool, and that’s why to this day, I cannot in good conscience actually follow through with marching them up to the schoolhouse and enrolling them.
   Related post: Homeschooling: Is it Right for Your Family?
2. Consider those who our lives are touching. 
   My goodness, it seems insignificant to the world to be just a stay-at-home mom. But, I argue that just like a person who goes to a job every day, we are making an eternal difference in the lives of our children. Every.single.day!
3. Try to forget what you think everyone one else thinks. 
   It’s hard to do that with social media and feeling like you constantly don’t measure up. Do try. Focus your eyes on what matters, put your hand to the plow and don’t look back if that’s what it takes. (And that is sometimes what it takes.) Comparing ourselves to others almost never works for our good. Find women who complement you, and surround yourself with them. I found this article helpful.

This is probably a no-brainer for some, but I really struggle with whether what I’m doing all day, every day means anything to anyone. I’m always feeling like I’m not doing enough even on days when I’m giving all I’ve got. And maybe I’m not doing enough, but that’s okay. I’m doing what matters, and that’s what I’m doing with my life.