If your marriage is broken by pornography or as an offended spouse you feel utterly betrayed,
you want more than anything to receive a miracle, to have you marriage mended or better yet–to go back in time before discovery–let us ask you a life-changing question:
What’s the difference between a marriage restored
where trust is once again a thing
and your current state of
fear, shame, guilt, and complete brokenness?
Fear, shame, quilt and brokenness make you want to…
…sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened.
…chalk it up “pornography is the norm” and move on.
…OR call it quits.
In a marriage where trust is once again a thing, you would want…
…peace and comfort in your marriage.
…confidence and trust in your spouse.
At the end of the day, it isn’t about ignoring problems, blaming one another, or giving up, but really and truly fighting together to build lasting trust.
Here’s what you need to know about a fully restored marriage that experiences complete trust and can be better than it was before…
While the potential for every broken couple to enjoy complete trust is very possible, it takes very directed steps to see restoration in marriage…
With these direct steps in place, the days of fear, shame, guilt, and complete brokenness will become a thing of the past as you begin to experience benefits of these directed steps.
The internet can be completely overwhelming with all the well-meaning marriage advice at your finger tips, all the while leaving you feeling not sure where to start or what trust even means.
If you’re anything like us when we started this journey to restoration in 2016, you know that you don’t want to ignore the problem or pass it off as normal. That just requires you to move on while your marriage is falling apart and you are dying inside. Having just discovered that your spouse has been using pornography along with the complete brokenness you feel, you may be unsure how survive right now, much less how to actually forgive, move forward, and live a normal life with your spouse again.
The more we committed to building lasting trust, the more we began to see that we might actually be able to walk through the betrayal and come out on the other side–together! The more transparent we were in the beginning, the more confident we became that we could overcome. We saw the importance of repentance, confession, and transparency and how they all played a part in our healing. Still, we were eager for the hurt to be over and for the distance between us to go away, so that our normal could return to our marriage and ultimately our family.
As we faithfully forged ahead, we were on the road to restoration without realizing that true freedom and complete restoration was going to be the reward that we reaped for being committed to our marriage.
We can’t tell you how wonderfully refreshed we felt as we finally experienced trust and freedom again in our marriage.
Now, we help broken couples remove the feeling of isolation and identify where to begin in rebuilding trust!
But before we share our story with you, we want to tell you about why the majority of marriages broken by pornography aren’t finding the full restoration that they deeply desire.
After five years with couples fighting the pornography battle, we have witnessed many who were completely broken. Only, not just broken, but utterly embarrassed and living in constant fear that the offending spouse would break his or her promise to never do it again. The constant stress as well as worry, doubt, and fear of whether or not their marriage could EVER be the same again, is inevitably what HAS kept them from moving toward the result that they so desire, which is restoration.
We know, based on statistics, that hundreds of couples are smoothing it over, making excuses, and choosing to look past it for years because it’s “normal.” Spouses are blamed for over-reacting because “it’s not even real.” They go on and on like this with a constant fear that sometimes gets buried for chunks of time when things are going well, but it lies dormant because it is never dealt with. Yet sadly, couples are no closer to experiencing true and lasting restoration.
Married couples really are some of the most dedicated people we know and deserve to experience how these directed steps truly lead to restoration in their marriage.
We are talking about…
The good news is that almost every one of these can be overcome! In fact, most of this list will be simplified with our road map put into place.
Often, these things are fueled by the anger, fear, and doubt which keeps couples stuck in their current state of broken trust, instead of giving them the steps to true and complete restoration. When experiencing broken trust, all kinds of emotions are going to show up, but it’s how we decide to manage them and what we decide to do apart from them that really counts!
The truth is that if you want different results, you need to do things differently.
It’s time to STOP sweeping things under the rug, and face them head on.
But first, you need to know exactly what these steps are that leads to restoration in your marriage.
If marriages start with so much potential, then why don’t more couples see true, complete restoration?
When you are young, you have many visions and thoughts of what your married life will be like. It’s exciting to be spending the rest of your life with your best friend! We all want that fairy tale.
That’s why it’s completely devastating when your spouse breaks the trust you have built. The person you trusted most in the world, the one you delighted in, the one you gave everything for, broke his or her vow, and thus, left your relationship broken.
On top of that…
And THAT is why you can’t move forward to the restoration that you so desire!
New love is the brightest,
and long love is the greatest,
but revived love
is the tenderest thing known on earth.
With a focused commitment and desire to fix your marriage, you get started.
You pull yourself up, get yourself together, and determine to forgive and just let it go. It starts off with grit and determination- but you find yourself still hurting and not able to leave your bitterness behind.
You begin doubting yourself.
You start comparing your journey with other couples.
You wonder what you are missing that they are doing right. Why is their marriage so much better? Do they never have problems?
You begin thinking that you must have brought this on yourself. Self-doubt sets in, and you start believing that you could have done something to keep your spouse’s eyes on you alone.
Then you begin questioning your entire marriage…
What am I even doing here?
How do I move past this?
Why do feel so low and so all alone?
Am I even deserving of my spouse’s devotion?
And worst of all…Even if I figure out how to really forgive and move forward, is it even possible for me to trust my spouse again?
How can I ever feel normal in my marriage again?
Will he or she turn back to porn?
Is it even possible for us to overcome the broken trust with all the lies that covered the past?
Adding to your own concerns, the overwhelm increases because you don’t want everyone around you to see what you are dealing with. So, you put on your happy face and pretend everything is fine, yet this in and of itself further isolates you.
It doesn’t matter if you are a cup half-full or silver-lining person, you will eventually want to give up on trying to make your marriage work because it looks completely different from what you thought it would. The fact that you’re not even sure you can forgive your spouse to actually start the process of restoration, is what keeps you stuck.
And that’s it.
You won’t be experiencing the beauty of transparency.
You won’t be experiencing the freedom of forgiveness.
You won’t be experiencing complete trust in your spouse.
You won’t see the marriage restoration that you so desire.
While what you want is to rebuild trust in your marriage, it’s often much easier to blame yourself, admit that it’s really “not that bad,” and put your head down and just move on. [At least that’s what the world tells us.]
It’s true: The Bible teaches that we must forgive. How many times? In Matthew, Jesus told the disciples to keep on forgiving, even seven times 70 times! (18:22) So yes, we are to forgive, but Jesus also says that to look at a woman with lust is to commit adultery in your heart. (Matthew 5:28) The point is that there are many moving pieces and it’s not a “just” forgive and forget.
So for all of your hard work, you will have attempted to fix your broken marriage by letting time “heal” your wounds. The truth is–that would be the worst thing you can do.
Almost unreasonably high… with the right core elements.
SO many things have to look different from what many people will advise you to do, to even get started by laying the ground rules that leads to restoration in your marriage.
The Offended:
The Offender:
Together:
The core elements to rebuilding trust are the very things that will begin to heal your hearts and your marriage when implemented correctly.
Establishing the foundation or laying the ground rules is the first step to rebuilding trust.
We understand that you don’t have the time or the head space to attempt to figure out the exact core elements that establishing the rules for restoration. You are emotionally and mentally exhausted!
In fact, the core elements necessary to restore your marriage are not easily found in one place outside of in-person counseling. You may find them here and there but because there’s so much from differing viewpoints (and many of them unhealthy) it took months for us to discover these elements. It was through much prayer, searching Scripture, and seeking godly counsel that we received restoration in our own marriage.
The difference between complete restoration and ready to give up is the firm foundation you build using the right tools and taking the right steps!
With the right roadmap covering the core elements of building trust that leads to restoration, you will find the determination and desire to commit to rebuilding trust that will bring you healing and mending in your marriage.
Sabrina writes:
Being the wife of Chris for 21 years, I’m so thankful for the restoration we found for ourselves and our marriage back in 2017.
Our story started way back in 1996 when we became high school sweethearts. My heart desired a loving, doting, proud husband! And that’s just what I got. While our story has its bumps (like all do), we experienced a joyful, happy marriage until just after our 7th child was born.
That’s when Chris confessed to me that he had an addiction to pornography. He already had received repentance but he wanted to confess to me. He knew that by doing so, life was about to get very rocky.
It was on that hard, rocky road that we discovered the elements needed for complete healing and restoration in our marriage!
The biggest mistake that most couples make is that they don’t make accountability and transparency a priority.
These [accountability and transparency] along with communication and commitment are core elements for rebuilding broken trust in any marriage.
What couples don’t realize is that if they faithfully do take these steps in the beginning, they will be securing restoration.
And by restoration, we mean a marriage in which you can freely trust and be confident in.
When a couple is able to walk towards trusting again, they have secured restoration.
If so, we would love to introduce you to …
The Marriage Restoration Roadmap™ is a 12-month program that guides couples who have been broken by pornography and leads them to fully trusting again by showing them how to restore their marriage.
The Marriage Restoration Roadmap™ provides you with step-by-step actions to take in order to restore broken trust, even if you have no idea how to proceed at this point.
Each lesson of each module offers corresponding resources, scripture, and ideas to help you move towards restoration each step of the way. This is just a sample of what you will have access to in downloadable format for each lesson.
The Trust Equation Blueprint is a guide that will help couples to better understand the elements of trust, AND to teach them HOW to
implement each of those in their marriage.
“The Accountability Blueprint” will get down to the nitty-gritty about the importance of and ways to implement accountability. Without accountability, “staying the course” isn’t likely for most people.
“The Communication Blueprint” discusses the importance of and ways to communicate even in your brokenness so that you can reach the end result: restoration! Comminication is KEY to any relationship.
This is a devotional that focuses solely on the verses to help you through the struggles you will face each day as you seek to break free from the addiction of pornography.
When enrolling in THE MARRIAGE RESTORATION ROADMAP™, you are committing to the full 12-month program with Chris and Sabrina as your online marriage mentors.
PLEASE NOTE: This program is only for those couples who are serious about committing to restoring their marriages with us as their marriage mentors.
There is NO refund or cancellation policy. When enrolling, you are committing to this 12-month program and the full payment.
Chris and Sabrina are committed to mentoring you through how to have restoration in your marriage after pornography via email.
This 12-month program has been designed for those who already know they are committed to restoring their marriage, whatever it takes.
It is not for those who are not BOTH seeking restoration.
This doesn’t mean that you need to come into the program with an idea of how it all will work together, but with a commitment to yourself, your spouse, and your marriage.
Chris’s desire to be free from the bonds of pornography led to his repentance and confession to Sabrina. He knew doing such would leave them both broken, but it was the only way to lead the way for healing.
Sabrina had no idea that her marriage would ever be turned upside down. It was in her loneliness and brokenness that she questioned all that she ever held dear. And she began a long, lonely road that she wasn’t sure would ever end.
This program has been birthed out of the journey they found themselves on and the steps they took to receive restoration in their marriage. This is a journey they took entirely by themselves, as the shame and guilt overtook them. Now, they understand the importance of sharing their story, which is why today you have the opportunity to take a trip on THE MARRIAGE RESTORATION ROADMAP™!
Are you ready for YOUR marriage to be restored?
#1 – The five modules that make up the core roadmap including various resources to use with each module.
#2 – Access to Chris & Sabrina through email.
#3 – Accountability Blueprint
#4 – Communication Blueprint
#5 – The Trust Equation
#6 – Solace in the Psalms daily devotional
#7 – Battle Each Day daily devotional
You have access to the roadmap for 12 months. At the end of 12 months, your access expires. If you wish to purchase another year, you can certainly do that. Some couples, who had already started their restoration process saw that 6 months was enough time, but we want to give you plenty of time to work through.
At this time, we are not using a community to stay in touch. We have found that many couples have a difficult time sharing such personal experiences with others. Therefore, your way to get in touch with us is through email. We will get back to you! Truthfully, email seems to be the best way to talk through things besides the occasional Zoom meeting. We reserve the right to offer those, even though we will not schedule them nor commit to them up front.
We do not offer a payment plan.
No. Due to the nature of the roadmap and the variables of each couple, we cannot issue refunds. We provide steps that work, but only if followed whole-heartedly by BOTH spouses.