I was so lonely, and I never wanted another woman to feel that complete isolation. It has taken time and effort and intentionality to move through all that I felt during that time.
Today, I’m sharing at Transforming Normal on how to push through the feelings of betrayal. It’s not easy. Here I sit at 2 years since that night, and there are times I still fight feelings of betrayal.
My goal is to encourage anyone feeling betrayed and to be an Aaron when you are too weak to hold yourself up.
The Hurt, Anger, Fear and Comparison
The hurt is real. I spent days and weeks in a defeated and lonely state. I was so broken I didn’t even know if I could carry on with life.
Lashing out had become my norm, and I couldn’t make it stop. The pouring out from my heart was a direct reflection of how I was feeling. At times anger overwhelmed me, and I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.
To top it all off, there’s continual fear and comparison. I found myself afraid for my husband to be home alone or to work with women or to do anything without me. At the same time, I found myself trying to measure up or wondering why I hadn’t. Only to realize, there was no way I ever could measure up to the woman on the screen.
Truthfully, trusting my husband is still something I struggle with. I have to seek the Lord often because the enemy uses the fact that he lied once to remind me that he could lie again. [Read the entire article…]