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When Marriages fail, they will often site things like financial struggle, lack of spark spark, or the love has faded as the cause. While all of these may contribute to marriage struggles, they aren’t the main reason.
The actual reason most marriages fail is lack of communication and transparency. While we mostly focus on couples who are struggling with restoring trust in their marriage, it’s also good for couples to never go down that road. Keeping the lines of communication open at all times will prevent marriages from going down paths they wish they had never taken. Just as important as keeping the lines open is making the communication count.
5 Ways to make communication count in your marriage:
#1 – Put the phone down.
We spend too much time on our devices interacting with others or scrolling mindlessly. Our focus should not be our phones or those on the other side of it, but our spouse, our marriage, and our families. It’s safe to say that most people in this day and age put much more focus on the things that are worthless in the scheme of things and not enough emphasis on the things that matter.
#2 – Make date night a regular event.
Even when things are strained, make a point to date one another. Don’t let money dictate whether or not you are able to have a date. There are plenty of free date ideas! Also, if you have children, ask for help so that you can go out or at least have a couple of hours to spend together as a couple. Don’t feel guilty asking for help!
#3 – Don’t take you phone with you to dinner.
If you have children, you will need to keep your phone with you, but leave it in the car. Let the babysitter know that you’ll check in before you go in the restaurant and when you come out, but don’t take it with you! Enjoy the time with each other. Force yourself to do the “strange” thing and actually engage one another at dinner!
#4 – Avoid the silent treatment.
Couples often use the silent treatment to punish their spouses, but the truth is, silent treatment will cause further damage. When you shut down, you shut your spouse out. That is never good for communicating. The truth is that even in silent treatment, we are trying to communicate something, but almost always it will send the wrong message. We often feel that giving the cold shoulder will teach our spouse a lesson, but what it does is drive a wedge. It will make you bitter, uncaring, and indifferent.
#5 – Take the TV out of your bedroom!
It sounds strange, we know, but it works! We haven’t had a TV in our room in years, and it was the best decision we ever made. For one, it doesn’t steal our attention when the attention should be on one another, and for two, it doesn’t keep us up late at night. You will see significant benefits to removing the TV from your bedroom!
Value your spouse
When we do these things, we place value on our spouses and the time spent with them. Constantly checking our phones sends the message that you’d rather be anywhere but on a date with your honey. Watching TV instead of connecting emotionally, mentally, and physically with our spouses also is detrimental to relationships. Being sure to make the communication count will help you to build trust in your marriage.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7